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Does she live in the In-between?




Part I


That radiant young thing, so full of vitality, so sweet

The one caught in glimpses –

as a sunbeam reflecting like a brilliant diamond

through the edge of a store window

where the glass panels meet. The one who’s eyes

dance and sparkle mischievously – newly born

with the radiance of stars

and moons and

cascades of crystal dewdrops on an early summer

morn


Such luminous innocence shining in her face

So joyful is she, unhindered by the rules that

She doesn’t know yet, in those unguarded moments

Of her sweet naiveté, clinging

Tenaciously to the golden threads of her wistful desire

To just be


To just live as she is, right now, in this second

A vastness of light; boundless and immense

Just her, the real her, no pretence

When one really tries, to focus and see

Her beauty and wisdom and infinite joy

Just as quick as she was there

Intangible but true

Her incorporeal essence is gone on a breeze

Did she go away, to that place, that dense

Nomansland in the middle of what she felt

And what was ok? The In-Between where

so little makes any sense

Did she renounce the truth within

To fumble and grope for a mask?

Not too uncomfortable, just endurable

Enough to fit in?


To become invisible and unthreatening

Tamed and slightly greyed out

Like a link on a page made unclickable

That would bring back the warmth, the hues, the colour

And the richness of life – if only!


Could it be that, just for today she gave in?

Because tomorrow, she will break out

To be seen in the mirror, undeniable and

true. Manifested in all her

Glory and magnificence, leading by

The heart, no time for the game

A tenuous vision, ethereal, like an angel

Fleshed out by her power, her longing

To just be


Part II


Does she shine like a sunbeam

her window only slight

In moments that are here, then gone

unguarded, free and bright

Does she long to turn up daily

show herself, for all to see

to yell it from the rooftops

Look y’all, this is ME!


But she was born into a world

where her feelingness was not ok

Her voice, her thoughts, her intelligence

so many things she mustn’t say

At almost every turn, it seems

she must check herself, rein in

appear only the watered-down version

allowed, all else just too much din


In a time that would subdue her

give her walls to hide her light ..

her love, her joy, her intelligence

her wit, her tears, her might

Keep that all locked away

it says, don’t act up and let that show

Now be a good girl, run along, and

keep your head down low


To her, and her compatriots

in the country of her gender

it all seems like so much craziness

that her ‘normal’ holds no tenure

Had she known that her agreement

to manifest the gifts she’d claimed

to embody those luscious softer skills, only

for her femininity to be shamed


With advancing years and so much learned

rejection a familiar sting

so many times reminded that

Self-regulation is the acceptable thing

Many sparks of joyful expression

Crushed down by the enjoyment police

Many moments of honest emotion

dismissed, many lost moments of peace


So often the message hammered home

Be less different, more the same

Could she keep trading her blessed freedom

For yet more existential pain?

Can she rise again from the renouncement

of the bounty to which others objected?

Reclaim her precious soul

and love the things the world rejected?


Would she break the chains of oppression

risk it all again, and live her truth?

Would she dare to plug back into

The bodacious of her youth?

Was she surprised to find no ally

In the usual social vibe

Just as well she found her way then

To this place right here, to find her tribe


With new confidence and self-belief

among her rebel brothers and sisters

will The In-between be left behind

now that good fortune has kissed her?

Will she light up the earth anew?

Will she rise to her full height?

Will she illuminate the way for others

with her astonishing light?


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