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A Woman's Anger - A Thing of Beauty, or Shame?

I wonder if female anger has taken a somewhat debilitating bad rap, and whether this has something to do with it being (still) pretty well unexplored for its positive aspects - perhaps its more 'feminine' aspects - and better understood, managed well and utilised for the power within it to create great change in the world?

When looking deeper, maybe it's becoming ever clearer that the masculine way - in isolation - has for too long been to use the emotion of anger as a force, rather than as a 'power' in the true sense of the word (at least, as the feminine understands it), intimidating and bullying to get what is desired - my bombs are bigger and badder than yours type of thing - and with no 'brakes' (feminine balance, or resistance when appropriate) to influence things, it has just become a runaway juggernaut, wreaking uncontrolled death and destruction - a bit like where we are now, no?

Where does it end?

Doesn't it grate that when a 'system' that has been built on the basis of near total masculine 'rules', it is only able to be upheld by the use of force (guns / violence / war and/or the constant threat of punitive measures/incarceration/exclusion/social ridicule/financial penalties etc), trapping us in its vice-like grip on our lives, and yet we all go along with it, believing it's just the way things are; that we are powerless to change it, even though so much of it tears the heart out of our collective breast when we seem to have no choice but to witness innocent children - who look to us for safety, comfort and example, brothers and sisters, geniuses in their own right never allowed to grow, contribute and flourish, being blow up and broken in every possible way; families being torn apart; service men and women manipulated by the 'your country needs you' mindf**k into partaking of such destruction - forever traumatised and never the same again; species who add such incredible beauty and wonderful variety to our planet going extinct, being used like so much inanimate 'shackle' for our own uncaring appetites rather than revered and protected as fellow inhabitants of this beautiful earth, equally deserving of freedom, joy and life; and on and on it goes?

Is this what we want?

Are we ok with remaining silent and repressing our anger? So we don't p*** anyone off or come across as 'aggressive' because we are no longer willing to button it, all nice and girly like?


Doesn't it grate that to keep others 'in agreement' with (read: in line!), ultimately imposed and so often terrible rules for life, that the ONLY way to uphold this nonsense is this?

Isn't it highly questionable that such rules are actually even tolerated - not just by women, but by awakened men too? Are those crooked 'rules' not just actually worthless?

Maybe it’s true that we've been so conditioned that to be woman - and in much the same way as the masculine is conditioned to be closed off to the voice of the heart, the feminine is conditioned to be closed off to the voice of the head - therefore one doesn't rock the boat, or challenge; one soothes the troubled (and no bloody wonder!) masculine, having for so long trusted its creative process to be just harmless 'man stuff', meanwhile doing the marginally ‘less important’ business of raising the family and providing all the comforts of home while tolerating the odd (or maybe not so) occasions of aggression and controlling more and more - within our homes (where this applies) and very much so in the wider world?

The feminine left them alone, me thinks, because we are peace-makers by and large (and perhaps because we were so damn busy!), and like a boisterous son playing noisy rough & tumble in the back garden/yard, we left them to it, not realising the implicit danger in that uncontrolled masculine energy; that it would run away and make the mess in the world that it has?

It's funny how people perceive you when you're ok with expressing feminine anger. It's an interesting (I think) and powerful aspect of the whole - an aspect that I think millions upon millions of women reject because one is supposed to be wholly 'nice'. I wonder if so many women partner with angry men/the overly angry masculine because they don't have the confidence with this normal aspect of being human (male & female)? (I wonder if the degree to which such a woman rejects this aspect of her character is roughly equal to the degree the male in her life rejects his softness?

Hmm, interesting ..

Like any skill, perhaps our anger just needs to be played with, embraced, practiced, accepted as an empowering, powerful aspect of being woman – of being warrior women perhaps? Bit like assertiveness training but maybe one of the last taboos in terms of 'how far can I go with this before I get the social exclusion thing goin' on?'

I mean, when throughout one's life as a woman, it's been perfectly acceptable to express all the 'ok' emotions such an easy joyfulness and the laughter that can naturally spring from that; a cheeky sense of fun, silliness, big smiles, compassion, kindness etc; and yet be rejected and judged for the equally easy expression of sadness, confusion, frustration - and yes, anger - even when in an assertive, responsible 'I'm owning it' kinda way, without attack or blame; in balance with all other emotions & with life's normal ups and downs - and yet when it comes to perfectly normal anger passes through, how often do we feel compelled to explain it away? One specific emotion, neutered so that it appears no more weighty or 'loaded' than any other, except by nature of it being widely misunderstood, perhaps, but certainly by its unacceptableness! For the record, after years of cheerful repression, evolving into frustrated suppression, I've learned to be ok with expressing anger when I feel it - regarding it as just a normal passing breeze blowing through the story of my life - no more a person with anger issues than I am a person with laughter or compassion issues!

So can we, women in flow through these increasingly censored times, rise above this and lead the way?

With love,

Trish Brennan


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